10 lessons in Advanced Communication

Last week, I had the privilege of talking to someone who dedicated 20 years of his life to advanced communication - Brett Mabberley, an international advanced communication specialist and founder of Interpersonal Insights.

Brett has dedicated the last 20 years to mastering the art and science of human behavior.

His clients range from International entrepreneurs, lawyers, financial advisors, salespeople, and Hollywood actors.

Here are the top 10 lessons from Brett Mabberley, an Advanced Communication coach:

1. Even if you are a great communicator, you can always get better by 10%

- By asking better questions

- By connecting deeper

- By reading the situation better

- By having a better strategy

- By noticing subtle clues better

- By reading between the lines better

- By leading conversations better

Advanced Communicators understand the incredible power of communication and always look to get better at it.

Communication skills give you money, power, and admiration of others. And nobody can take it from you.

It’s yours for life.

Do you want to struggle till you’re old and then learn advanced communication, or would you learn it now and take advantage of all these years in front of you?

This is what you can improve today.

Ask interrogative questions.

They start with question words: What, How, When, Who, Which, and Why.

When you ask interrogative questions, you make the other person think and elaborate.

Instead of asking: “Do you like the proposal?” ask, “What do you like in the proposal?”

Instead of asking: “Are you happy in your role?” ask, “What makes you happy about your role?”

2. Advanced communication is not about manipulation. It’s about communicating with intention and connecting with people on a deeper level to motivate and inspire them.

When you’re connected, you can understand so much more about what people want and need.

This gives you a chance to see more opportunities for collaboration and better business.

Advanced communication is when you can understand what is not being said.

Advanced communication is having lots of strategies beyond a typical one of laying out all your cards on the table and letting them decide.

How long do you want to continue letting others decide for you?

Here’s how you can connect to people deeper.

Instead of sharing facts about yourself and telling people what you know, ask them what’s important to them.

Ask them about their aspirations, values, and beliefs.

Don’t share information. Share who you are.

Show them that you’re human. Share both your successes and your struggles.

3. Communication is about giving.

And giving is about building your success. People who are quick to take don’t know what they are missing.

Taking is protective. Giving is producing.

What does it mean to give through your communication?

It means many things: recognition, validation, encouragement, support, direction, purpose, and unity.

When you connect on a deeper level, you can give so much more. And you never lose.

Because what you give comes back to you multiplied.

It comes back with loyalty, preferences, options, offers, discounts, partnerships, and referrals.

Don’t wait to give.

Here’s what you can do today to give everyone interacting with you.

Reflect on what they say. When you hear someone talking to you for more than 15 seconds, say in a few words what they are going through and what they feel about it.

When they hear your reflection, they will feel heard and understood.

Understanding is a gift you can share in abundance.

4. There are many levels of Advanced Communication.

Hollywood actors are believed to be confident and good communicators.

This is not an accident. They hire a communication coach, a voice coach, take a body language training, do the script analysis.

All to improve their abilities and skills. They invest in their skills.

There are growing leaders who know they need to improve communication to move to the next level of leadership, to lead their growing business, to communicate to shareholders.

Communication is essential to CEO’s who need to influence a company, community leaders who need to influence community members, and other leaders.

John Maxwell said: “Leadership is influence. No more, no less.”

This means the level of communication defines the level of leadership.

At what level do you plan to be?

Here’s how you can make a step forward today on the path of advanced communication.

Join a community of practice.

Google it, research it, and participate.

Find the one that offers practice.

And if you can’t find one, join the Negotiation Practice Community.

You won’t regret it. I guarantee you.

5. You never know which conversation may lead you to a 7-figure business.

Connection is key.

Connect when you network.

Don’t collect contacts.

Build and collect trusting relationships.

Never underestimate the power of a single conversation.

It could be your next breakthrough.

Be a researcher. Be an explorer. Stay curious.

Here’s what you can do to increase your chances of having a 7-figure business conversation.

Connect with people on LinkedIn.

We live in the times of the LinkedIn “gold rush.”

The people who were not available to you before are now on LinkedIn and connecting with others.

Reach out, connect, and strike up an empathetic conversation.

6. If there’s a single step you can take to become an Advanced Communicator, it is becoming a “people watcher.”

Slow it down - watch, listen, and notice everything about people.

When you become a “people watcher,” you start to see a lot more and understand new things about people:

- Their emotions

- What’s driving them

- What do you see as a problem

- Who they are

- Who do they want to become

You start to see what you didn’t see before.

Here’s what you can do today to improve it.

Practice Labeling with your family members. Labels are assumptive statements with a tentative start. Try to label emotions more than other things.

Don’t worry. People will correct you if you’re wrong.

But they will appreciate your effort to understand them.

7. The first step to improve is to understand your communication style.

This is what helps you see where you are and what prevents you from connecting to others.

Removing what is getting in the way is the first step of transformation.

Your communication style is the advantage on your level, but it’s a flaw on the next one.

Know what it is, and you’ll know how to conquer it.

How can you understand your style?

I guess you’ll need to reach out to Brett.

Or join one of our practice sessions and get feedback from the host and practice partners.

8. You are not born with communication skills.

Many people believe that they don’t have natural abilities to communicate.

Many people believe that they have a disadvantage.

The truth is communication is a skill that can be learned.

Yes, not everyone is born equal.

But everyone is unique.

Use your unique features and your experience as your advantage.

Learn what works best for you.

How can you understand your strengths?

Think about the times when it was easy for you to connect with people and why.

Watch different influencers, speakers, or negotiation coaches online and see who you can copy.

Try it out with your family or in a practice session and get feedback.

9. Practicing and using skills is paramount for growing and maintaining communication skills.

One thing is learning new information. Another thing is putting it into action.

If you want something out of it - put something into it.

Advanced communication is an active skill that requires repetition.

More repetition - better skills.

Practice your empathetic talk every day with others.

Try to get feedback from people who know you’re practicing.

10. Competence breeds confidence

So many times, we want something, but we don’t risk asking.

We don’t have confidence that we can succeed and hear a “YES.”

We’re afraid to fail.

It’s a matter of making it OK to hear NO.

And it could be difficult even in a mock scenario during the practice session.

But competence breeds confidence.

What couldn’t you achieve with practice?

You can achieve everything you want.

I’m sure there’s much more to learn about Advanced Communication.

And I’m grateful for this great conversation with Brett.

You never know what comes out of a conversation, especially with experienced and talented people like Brett Mabberley.

This week, we have an exciting interview with the acting Crisis and Hostage Negotiator from Brazil, Rio de Janeiro - Fabio Castelo.

Check out his LinkedIn profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/fabiocastelo/

Join the Negotiation Practice Community today (it’s free for the first month), and you can get on the direct Zoom call with Fabio, meet him on the call, and ask your questions.

https://bit.ly/join-npc

And if you are not ready to join the community, watch it on LinkedIn.

https://www.linkedin.com/events/thepowerofpersuasion-behindthes7132142976088035328/theater/

Cheers!

Vlad