MAKE YOUR COMMUNICATION STAND OUT

I nurtured my husband yesterday and asked him how it felt. He said: "This felt so warm." He had a big smile on his face. His eyes were shining.

I also nurtured one of my clients who had a bad experience. I nearly labeled everything she said in a WhatsApp message. I had done this before I learned nurturing because my students are important to me, but now I am getting so much better.

She thanked me so much, acknowledged that I said something to every point she shared, and was very happy. Now I realize that she acknowledged my nurturing in her reply, too.

Cool stuff. I am so grateful to learn this. Thanks, Vlad and my dear classmates!

I was in a difficult sale at work. One that we rarely sell. Things were going from bad to worse. I used an accusation audit, I said, "You guys probably think I'm a pushy salesman?" They were like, "no! no! no! We don't think that at all."

It totally changed the dynamic of the situation. I got the sale. What a powerful technique. Can't wait to practice it in our small groups and in everyday life.

I really don’t know what happened. But I do know, after you guys practiced with me in the real negotiation scenario session last Tuesday, I felt supported by a community, I got energy boost, and I am equipped with some great strategies and feedbacks.

When you found yourself in a hot seat, feel free to step in to this wonderful session, get your toes wet and get a refreshing boost from @Vlad.

Here is the fact, I slept on this negotiation for my kitchen sink repair with a builder for a few days. This Monday, I sent the following email embedding Colombo effect, contrasting, nurturing, no-orientated questions, and my sincere feelings of how I felt.

Then, that Monday afternoon, I got a call from the contractor saying they want to come the next day to fix it for free. I came home today, the sink is fixed, I potentially saved $650 and the contractor helped my wife fix some additional stuff out of his generosity.

I am still scratching my head. Just want to express my debt and gratitude to you all in this community. Wish you the best Thanksgiving yet! Looking forward to building this community together.

I asked them (another team) to transform the data as it comes in. They said no. I asked for a meeting with their leader to discuss.

He is senior to me and has more social capital as well, so it was kind of him to accept my meeting. I nurtured similarity by noticing that he’s a Dallas Cowboys fan, I’ve always enjoyed watching those games with my uncles.

In the discussion he said no way will his team take on this transformation, it goes against his principles to adjust data, he only routs the data that others generate.

I used mirroring and labeling to prompt his sharing. Then I asked a No oriented question, “would you say that keeping your principles is more important than executives having valid reports?”

He shocked me when he said “yes they look to me for advice so this is my call”.

Columbo effect plus more mirroring and labeling.

Then 5 minutes later he caved and said that he didn’t like it but he would have his team implement the update. SUCCESS!

Two young men moved in the apartment under mine 4 months ago. They love to play video games.

I work from home and my office is directly above their game room. When they play, the sound vibrations of the bass travel through the whole house and the "shooting noises" - bumm, bumm kill my nerves and productivity.

I tried to use earplugs, headphones with music. Nothing helps to get rid of the noise. I found my self getting more and more angry, because I could not find any rest and concentration in my own home anymore.

I avoided the conversation for a few more days unreasonably hoping the issue will disappear until yesterday when it was so bad again, that I found myself thinking about where I could go to rest and think.

There was no place in my home. I took a deep breath and rang their bell. I nurtured, used contrasting, stated the facts and they agreed to lower the volume.

Today, it's much better. I can breathe again in my home. This experience confirmed for me how much I need to practice these conversations and how easily it is to choose silence or violence. But then nothing changes. Getting clear about our own stories is so powerful! Thanks @Vlad and my practice buddies