Avoid these 3 deadly amature mistakes in your negotiations

We all think we're good negotiators.

Until we find ourselves in the middle of a messy conversation infused with strong emotions.

Then we give up and say that it was impossible to win.

That was my biggest struggle before I started to learn negotiation.

Let's talk about 3 biggest mistakes untrained people make.

1. Trying to overpower the other side

- Talking excessively

- Talking fast and loud

- Guilt-tripping

- Threatening

- Arguing

- Showing bad emotions

It's disadvantageous because it hurts your relationships.

People who understand it don't want to negotiate.

They stay silent about what they want.

But staying silent isn't solving anything.

2. Preparing for negotiation incorrectly

- Thinking about yourself

- Focusing on what you've done, your goals, your reality

- Thinking about what you deserve

- Thinking about arguments you can make

- Thinking about how your situation is not fair

- Preparing to guilt-trip, argue, and threaten the opponent

All this preparation is garbage.

Such preparation only gets you in trouble and away from your goal

Some people meet with their best friends and share their frustration with them.

What do they get?

They get a lot of sympathy.

They get reassurance in their own self-evaluation, feeling of unfairness, and confirmation of their arguments.

Though it may feel better, It doesn't help to prepare for an important conversation.

When you prepare, never consult with your best friend.

Consult with your mentor or coach, someone who is responsible for your success, not for your feelings.

3. Not leveraging empathy

- Not knowing how it could be useful

- Not knowing what to do with it

- Believing it's a waste of time

- Thinking it's like giving your ear to someone so they can vent.

People who don't know how to leverage the power of empathy lean on the approach described before: "Overpowering the opponent."

By focusing on self, they appear as having an enormous EGO when everything is about and around one thing: "Me."

What does it do for the relationships?

Instead of building it with empathy, they destroy it with guilt-tripping.

But empathy is your only leverage in any conversation that requires agreement.

The classic example is how people ask about a promotion.

Suppose you work for a few years.

You get comfortable with what you do.

You notice that others are promoted.

You start thinking, "Well, others are promoted, but I'm not! I've been doing my job well for so many years. Why am I not getting promoted?"

You wait for your boss to be in a good mood for a few months (he never seems to be in a good mood for longer than 5 seconds).

Finally, you have this crucial conversation with your boss, and it ends with nothing but vague promises.

And your boss leaves the conversation feeling threatened that you are going to leave the company soon.

Not good.

How can you turn it around?

How to stop begging for something and start offering a better future to everyone?

The first must-have skill of a trained negotiator is Reflective Listening.

This is where all the FBI Hostage negotiators start.

Don't get it wrong, Reflective listening is not about lending your ear.

It's about leading the conversation and discovering new opportunities.

How does it work?

When people talk to you, listen closely, and when it's your time to speak, summarize very briefly what you've heard on 2 levels: Logical and Emotional.

It must be very brief.

It's not about repeating back all the stories you've heard.

It's about saying what they are going through and how they feel about it in one or two short sentences.

People who have experienced Reflective Listening feel very strongly that they need to give back to you.

They will offer you their service, goods, preferences, referrals, and advice.

Even if you don't ask about it.

If you get a chance, by all means, learn about Reflective Listening.

It will give you so much advantage, you won't believe it.

It will give you massive success.

It will make you 10 times smarter in the conversation, and you'll be pretty much given what you need for free.

You'll be confident in any conversation.

What my past students say about it:

- Oh, this is gold!

- I have changed non-changeable flight tickets.

- I get refunds on my non-refundable payments.

- I got extra consulting services.

- I extended my membership for free indefinitely.

- I got more autonomy at work.

- I improved my relationships with my spouse and my kids.

- I got free repairs after my warranty expired.

- I resolved a dispute with my noisy neighbors.

- I got the best seats on 3 flights, which would have cost me $90"

And this is just small stuff that you may get immediately.

Imagine how much you can generate for your future!

- Partnerships,

- agreements,

- executive advice,

- referrals,

- new business,

- career opportunities,

- loyal clients,

- supportive team members

You name it!

Don't miss the chance to learn about it.

The ROI is unbelievable.

It's a life-changing skill that everyone should know if you take your success seriously.

How hard is it to learn it?

Not really hard.

You just need to understand the concept of it, learn a few rules and then hear about typical mistakes people make.

It may take you half a day to grasp the concept of it.

But then you must practice it.

You need to train yourself to do it till it becomes comfortable, till it becomes your habit.

But, by no means it's difficult.

It's actually enjoyable.

And the results are almost instant.

You start learning it today - the same day you get the first results.

Don't delay it because every day in your life counts.

You can take advantage of this incredible skill because you deserve it.

You are the CEO of your biggest start-up called "Life"

The choice is yours.

Here's a free 4-minute video about applying Reflective Listening skills.

- Yes, I want to see this free lesson

- No, I don’t have 4 minutes