Be a farmer, not a hunter.

Want to negotiate better? - Be a farmer, not a hunter.

Hunters go for a kill.

Farmers plant seeds and grow them to harvest later.

Farmers have a longer-term perspective.

I'll give you an example.

I recently needed to clean my house.

And there were a couple of people who were starting a cleaning business - husband and wife.

Let's call them Brandon and Tamy (not their real names).

They offered me a sweet deal, and I agreed!

Only $270 to clean all the windows, 2 bathrooms, and most appliances.

What they didn't realize is that they signed up for more work than they expected.

After 3 hours of work, Brandon came to me and said they couldn't complete the job because they had another house to clean.

"We can't clean the windows from the outside, but we'll give you $20 back."

I have over 25 windows in my house, and the idea of cleaning it myself for $20 didn't look attractive.

"$20 doesn't cut it for me," I said.

"How much do you want?" Brandon replied.

"How about a $70 discount?" I countered though I wasn't sure I really wanted to go this route.

"$70?!" Brandon started to raise his voice. "We spent so much time on cleaning bathrooms. We went above and beyond! Now I need to go because I have to go to another job tomorrow. I wake up at 4 am."

Now, he is getting more pumped up.

"Well, if $70 doesn't work for you, then maybe complete this work later?" I suggested

"We can't!" Brandon replies assertively, "I have another job tomorrow."

"Maybe Tamy can?" - I said with a curious voice.

Brandon: "She doesn't drive."

Me: "What should we do?"

Brandon: "We'll give you $20 back, and we'll leave."

Me: "It doesn't work for me. I prefer all the windows cleaned."

Now Brandon raised his voice more so that our neighbors probably hear that, and Tamy overheard him from inside the house:

"We can't do that! We spent so much time cleaning bathrooms. We went above and beyond, and I have another job tomorrow. I can't go between both of you! (meaning me and Tamy) And you're asking me to give you $70. OK, I'll do it for free!" - he said his last words with frustration and disappointment.

I'm thinking to myself, "This conversation isn't going well, Brandon wants to re-negotiate our contract, but the way he approaches it is by yelling at me, the customer in this case. He is ruining the reputation of his business."

I slow down, smile, and say, "Brandon, I understand that we are not on the same page here. It's a difficult situation. I don't want to push you in either direction. In fact, I want to give a good review of your work. Why would we leave any negative impression on our business?"

When I said that Tamy had called Brandon, he had gone back to the house without replying to me.

I didn't realize how quickly the situation escalated and how abruptly it ended.

What happened next:

They kept working and completed everything.

Tamy called me a couple of times to show completed work.

It was OK, I accepted it.

I helped them a bit with windows myself.

Working together, we did all the work before sunset.

I thanked them and said that they really did a great job and went above and beyond.

Brandon smiled a bit as he heard that.

Tamy didn't show any hint of joy.

I paid them in full.

What are the lessons?

Could they re-negotiate our agreement?

Yes.

Should they yell at me?

No.

How did yelling at me impact the negotiation?

It destroyed my discretionary goodwill to accommodate them.

Should they ask me for more money?

Yes.

Would I give them?

Yes. But they didn't ask.

How did their initial agreement look to me?

They wanted my business, and they undercut their profits.

Was it fair to re-negotiate later?

It depends on how they would approach it.

Why did they stop arguing with me and complete their work in full?

Perhaps because they realized that there's something else in the picture:

Their reputation.

Perhaps it was my words or maybe something else, but they realized that there was something more important than getting out of this deal at a low cost.

They probably thought of the long-term vision.

Biggest lesson: Be a farmer, not a hunter.

Leverage the long-term vision.

Long-term vision is what leads to greater results.

And that applies well to negotiation.

I get it. Many people perceive negotiation as strictly bargaining, haggling, and manipulating.

Maybe manipulation is good for hostage negotiations where lives are at stake.

Maybe it's good for one-time deals, like buying a car.

However, in the business environment, negotiation is not about setting bait and then hunting down the prey.

Winning in negotiations is about building partnerships that work, planting the seed of trust, and growing it.

It's about making deals that work and getting referrals in the future.

Have I done work for a very low price?

Of course!

I have done work for free.

I have done work for almost free.

As well as deeply discounted work.

And every time I finished my work, I tried to "send my clients home in a limo."

I tried to give them the best impression of my service.

Those are the seeds.

My lesson here is about focusing on relationships.

Building trust and rapport will bring you everything you want, including business and money.

When you break rapport, even if you keep the deal, it becomes transactional and one-time-only.

But inside trusting relationships, you can re-negotiate any difficult contract.

Here's a video lesson I prepared for you about building rapport.

It's a free 4-minute video about applying reflective listening skills to build trust.

Choose below:

• Yes, I want to see this free lesson

• No, I don’t have 4 minutes