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Is negotiation easy?

You may think negotiation is not very hard.


It’s just a conversation, right?

You probably could do it on autopilot?


Let’s see what it takes.


When you start a conversation, you probably have a plan in mind.

You may want to share your opinion and hear the response.


Good start!

What happens next?


  • You probably need to understand what they say in reply.
  • It would also be great to consider why they say it, especially if they look unhappy.
  • At the same time, you have to figure out how it aligns with your plan and pivot, if necessary.
  • It would help if you noticed particular words they use indicating deep emotions or fundamental values. Let’s call these words “touchstones” because they may reveal critical information about their decision-making process.
  • You make a mental note because you can get back to those “touchstones” later and touch on those points to figure out what’s behind these words.
  • And then, you need to analyze what they say and choose what’s important and what’s just a distraction.
  • You’ll need to choose if you’d like to explore new points or dig deeper into what you’re discussing already.
  • Also, you need to notice the personality type of your opponent. Are they analytical and need data to be convinced, or are they a “driver” type who appreciates action above all? Maybe “amiable” or “expressive”? Based on that, you’ll lead the conversation by framing your responses for the recognized personality type.
  • This will definitely change the emotional dynamics, which you’d watch closely to see where’s the sticking point.
  • And if the emotions escalate, you’d control it on your side and influence the other side to reduce emotions and create safety in the conversation.
  • And, of course, on top of that, you’d need to structure your words in the right way for maximum impact and deliver your message with the right tone of voice and facial expression.
  • Ah, yes, I almost forgot: you need to avoid 10 crucial negotiation mistakes!


Sounds pretty simple, right?


Not quite.

It’s overwhelmingly difficult to control so many parameters.


FBI Hostage negotiators know about it and put the whole crew to listen to the call, and each team member is tasked to notice a specific thing.


Then critical information is provided to the Coach role, who makes strategic decisions about the direction of the conversation, and only then will the Coach give recommendations to the negotiator who is directly talking to the hostage taker.


All these points are crucial for the effectiveness of your influence, and impact the results.


That’s why, in most cases, important conversations become emotional very quickly, and people lose control over all these points.


Most mistakes are related to saying something wrong at the wrong time with the wrong emotions.


How do you manage to control all of these things simultaneously?

You can’t unless you’re trained to do many of them automatically.


That’s why people practice negotiation in a low-stakes environment, like a mock practice.


Practicing with fellow negotiators gives you many benefits.


You can focus on a single aspect of negotiation, for example, how to structure your sentence to achieve the desired effect. Then, you can improve this aspect to the point when it’s no longer a challenge, and you do it right consistently.


Also, you get feedback from fellow practitioners to recognize your strong and weak sides. So you can focus on improving it to make fewer mistakes and know how to recover.


Cognitive overload is the number one reason why people are less effective in negotiation than they could be.


It could be compared to joggling too many balls and then dropping them all because it’s too much for the current skill.


That’s why people who start practicing make significant progress in the first days and weeks.


One Negotiation Practice Community member told me: “My boss said to me recently that my communication style has changed completely and for the better.”


Do you know how many opportunities open up for this member after changing this crucial communication element at work? And that is just after a few weeks of practicing.


Advanced communication is not about knowing tricks.


It’s not about gimmicks.


It’s about understanding people and seeing many things that others can’t notice because they don’t have the capacity while you do.


That’s your advantage.


And that’s the mastery of advanced communication.


Join my free masterclass tomorrow to learn about the 7 Principles of Influence from Dr. Robert Cialdini.

https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZIqcu-prjkqE9F_jQeFyXT3OEOLOWEelvB6


Check out free practice sessions next week.

https://www.businessrelationshipscoach.com/practice


And sign up for an upcoming live call with one of the top negotiators in the world - Jim Camp.

Jim will answer our questions and present his new book about negotiation for leaders.

https://www.linkedin.com/events/unlockingleadershipsecrets-thep7125311169573138432/theater/


Join the Negotiation Practice Community to find the direct link to the Zoom call with Jim and interact with him directly.

https://www.businessrelationshipscoach.com/npc

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