Understanding and Trust

When talking to people, we always look for what's right and what's wrong.

It's because we can't live without a sense of truth.

And it may seem like what is right for us should be right for everyone.

But it's not so simple.

What's true is different for each individual.

There was a special way to resolve conflicts in some ancient tribes.

When people disagree, they'd sit in a circle and would put an arrow in the sand right in the middle.

Then, each of them would start to describe the arrow from their point of view.

One would say, it's going straight down, and it's got black and blue feathers.

The other would say, no, it goes down at an angle, and it's got a white feather.

And they would speak one by one.

Then, they'd change seats and start seeing the same arrow from another person's point of view.

They'd say, "Oh, yes, from where you sit, the arrow goes down at an angle and has white feathers."

Having seen each other's perspective, they'd easily come to an agreement.

Same about finding truth in business conversations.

We need to see the situation from different sides to find a solution that works.

Otherwise, any solution will be unreliable or may look unfair.

Agreements won't last for a long time without being balanced.

So, the right approach requires listening skills and building trust.

And the most effective way to do it is through Reflective Listening.

Why is Reflective Listening so effective?

Because it makes people feel understood.

And it's not only about how you listen.

But it's also about what you say.

You need to say exactly the right thing, and if you don't, you won't build enough trust for a solid agreement.