That's why they stop talking to you

Do you find that your prospects stop talking to you after you make an offer?

This is true for B2C businesses that interact directly with consumers who do not have much experience buying or selling.

Typical examples could be buying a car, a boat, or a house directly from the owner.

The problem of "offending" the seller with the price is probably most common when buying a house.

It is not as much about what you say but more about your conversational style.

Let's say you're a professional real estate investor and have knowledge and experience buying.

However, your prospect may have zero experience selling.

What are your biggest risks?

What may make the sellers stop talking to you?

Two things.

Obviously, the biggest reason is the fear that you, as an investor, will take advantage of their lack of experience.

And the other one is the fact that hundreds of other investors may reach out and offer to buy, too.

The biggest concern for the seller is to avoid making a bad choice.

The seller doesn't want to deal with a buyer who lacks ethics, is selfish, and practices unfair business.

How an inexperienced seller would make a decision about your integrity and fairness?

They'll definitely want to know if your offer is fair.

But it's a problem because they could be confused about what the fair price is.

The bad news is that you are out as soon as the seller suspects your offer might be unfair.

They "get offended" and cross your name from the list of people they talk to.

The good news is that the seller doesn't really care about the perfect deal but simply wants to avoid a bad deal.

The seller's dilemma is, "How can I make a good enough sale when I don't know who I'm dealing with?"

Your dilemma is to get a profitable deal and avoid coming across as a greedy manipulator who takes advantage of inexperienced people.

How can you successfully solve those two puzzles while making the seller choose you and agree about all important aspects of the sale?

Let's assume you know the buying process inside and out. You can guide the seller from start to finish without any issues. That's a given.

But in addition, you have to be able to build enough trust so you won't be avoided after the most important step - an offer.

And this is where the challenge is.

Let's discuss what can help you keep the conversation in control and improve your confidence in getting the deal closed.

If you're a business person and you value your time, you may have developed a conversational style that is efficient in discussing deals with other business people.

You might be getting to the point quickly, being very sharp with numbers, speaking fast, and focusing on the value.

Your tone of voice might be assertive, and you may use business language quite frequently.

If, in addition, you also speak in long passages, you could sound like a money-making machine working at full speed.

I have seen people in the Negotiation Practice Community with this impressive conversational style.

It is perfect when you talk to another investor.

It builds your reputation as a professional.

But it may scare away your potential seller, make them uncomfortable, and leave an impression that your only concern is their money.

Speaking a bit more directly, you may come across as greedy and selfish.

Definitely, it's not how you'd want to be perceived.

1. Change your conversational style based on who you speak with

Negotiation is a human performance.

Therefore, it must be tuned in to the audience.

Not only do we have to say the right things, but also we have to adjust our conversational style.

Sellers may first need to make sure they like you.

But more importantly, they want to make sure that you like them.

The fact that you like them makes them feel more comfortable and safe.

Because when you like them, you will definitely respect their needs and wants.

You won't take advantage of them.

It's psychologically a safe place for the prospect to be liked by the other side of the transaction because, as social creatures, we care about the people we like.

We respect them and take into account their needs.

And here's why respect is absolutely necessary for doing business.

Respect comes from the Latin word translated as "Regard."

This means we don't disregard each other's needs.

It's the fundamental basis of any fair deal to consider each other's needs.

This is what the word "fair" is about.

People must be absolutely sure about your good intent and integrity to make a deal with you.

What can guarantee it?

It's your relationship with the prospect.

2. Nurture respectful and trusting relationships first and throughout the conversation.

There's the Consistency principle from Dr. Cialdini, the "Godfather of Influence."

We, people, tend to think that whatever is happening in relationships will continue to happen.

And it's because people who care about their reputation want to be consistent with what they say and do.

Therefore, if you demonstrate to your prospect that you care about them early on, there will be an expectation and perception that this will continue.

There's nothing more effective in building trusting relationships than Nurturing.

Because Nurturing demonstrates that you understand, respect, and care for the people you do business with.

Nurturing may take the form of:

• reflective listening,

• supportive statements,

• validation,

• acknowledgment,

• gratitude, or

• contrasting statement to clarify your intent.

It confirms your motives and values.

Typical mistakes people make when talking to the clients:

• Getting straight to business

• Not acknowledging clients' situation

• Not reflecting on clients' emotional state

• Asking too many business questions

Combine the above with an assertive tone of voice, increase the speed of talking, and you'll get the emotionless money-making machine.

That's where your client starts to think, "It's not about me. It's about my money."

Some clients could be ready to do business right away.

But it doesn't mean they can't disqualify you if you fail to build trust.

Even when you talk about business, don't forget to nurture.

Label their interests and values, reflect on their comments, and complement them on their choices.

Continue nurturing as you go, as it guarantees your good intent to make a fair deal.

A part of it is understanding why your prospect wants to make a deal.

For example, if the prospect wants to sell a house on probation, where the money would go?

Will the seller buy a new house, put it in the retirement funds, invest it in the renovation of another house, or pay a debt?

It's essential to understand a little more about the prospect's motives and desires because it will help make necessary decisions and trade-offs.

3. Lean on personal goals and take the prospect into the future.

People sell large things like houses for a reason.

And they do make plans to use the proceeds.

Selling something isn't their primary business but a means to get out of an acute or growing pain and get cash that could be used for their personal reasons.

Personal reasons and goals are the drivers of the sale.

They are the leverage that will allow you to ask any penetrating question and move the process forward.

Typical mistakes you may want to avoid:

• Not going deep enough into personal motivations, not asking about it.

• Knowing personal motivations but not discussing how the sale helps achieve the goals.

• Not talking about the risks associated with personal goals and ways to mitigate them.

• Focusing on the sale rather than on the personal goals of the seller.

Discussing personal motivations, goals, aspirations, and reasons puts you in the position of a trusted advisor.

This is your safe harbor where you connect with the seller.

Therefore, all your conversations about business must start there.

If you want to ask a difficult question and don't know how - think about their goals and how to connect them with your question.

For example, if you'd like to ask the seller when they want to sell the house, ask them first about the timing of their goals.

Ask them what they want to achieve and when the results would be the best to show.

Then, you may ask about how the cash may help it.

Paint the picture of how long the house sale may take and ask them to make a decision about the best time to start with the first step.

In this case, you'll co-create the plan, and the seller will be committed to executing it.

In summary,

- Pay attention to how you speak, and avoid sounding too businessy.

- Nurture your relationships with the prospect from the beginning.

- And take your prospect into the future to connect the problem at hand with future plans.

There's more to talk about, such as

• How to address negative bias,

• How to discuss the prices,

• What to do when you hear a "NO."

Even if it seems to be a transactional business, we are all connected, and every conversation can be tracked.

It's crucial to leave a positive impression in every interaction, no matter the outcome.

Want to learn more about building trusting relationships?

Join the free "7 Levels of Nurturing" masterclass.

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